

He thought, “My brother has a wife and five children to take care of, and I am single.

One day, a worm entered the unmarried brother’s head. One of them got married, and he had five children. So, the two brothers always split the produce equally between themselves. Only in the last four generations, maybe after the British came, we started dividing the land. Only the produce could be divided, not the land.

In India and many other parts of the world at that time, there was no question of dividing the land. The old man died, and the boys took care of that. Never should there be any debate, argument, or fight about that.” After my death, both of you should always share the produce of this land fifty-fifty. This is one thing you must maintain at all times. When the man was getting very old, he told his two sons, “I may die anytime. They worked hard with their father, increased their land, and became well-to-do. These two boys grew up into strong young men. And if you had boys, you could work more land. In those days, the man worked the land, grew crops, and made money. This story is not the basis of my life but definitely shaped me in some ways. My great-grandmother told me many stories – this is one that stuck with me. But love is an inner state – how you are within yourself can definitely be unconditional. What you do outside of yourself is always subject to many conditions. Our actions are as the external situation demands. What you do, what you do not do, is according to circumstances around you. You could be having a great love affair, not with anyone in particular, but with life. A love affair need not be with any particular person. We need to recognize what is a transaction and what is truly a love affair. If your personality is kept strong in the process, it is just a convenient situation, that’s all. You as a person must be willing to fall, only then it can happen. If you have to be in love, you should not be. Love is not a great thing to do, because it eats you up. When you say “love,” it need not necessarily be convenient. Maybe a convenient transaction, maybe a good arrangement – maybe many people made excellent arrangements in life – but that will not fulfill you, that will not transport you to another dimension. The moment there is a condition, it just amounts to a transaction. It is just that there are conditions and there is love. There is really no such thing as conditional love and unconditional love.

When you talk about love, it has to be unconditional. It does not matter how much “I love you” has been said, if a few expectations and requisites are not fulfilled, things will fall apart. I am not saying there is no experience of love at all in those relationships, but it is within certain limitations. But people go on fooling themselves into believing that the relationships they have made for convenience, comfort and wellbeing, are actually relationships of love. If you see this, there is a possibility that you can grow into love as your natural quality. You try to get what you want by saying it.Įvery action that we do is in some way to fulfill certain needs. One of the best ways to fulfill these needs is to tell people, “I love you.” This so-called “love” has become like a mantra: open sesame. People have physical, psychological, emotional, financial or social needs. Generally, we have made relationships within frameworks that are comfortable and profitable for us. She said, “What? You’re leaving? You just said you loved me!” It was getting late in the evening Shankaran Pillai got up and he said, “I need to leave. Nature took over and they had their way with each other. I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life.” He sat there for a while, then went down on his knees, plucked a flower, gave it to her and said, “I love you. By then she had moved to the very end of the bench. He waited again, and then inched even closer. Again, he waited for a few minutes and inched a little closer to her. After a few minutes, he moved a little closer to her. He went and settled down on the same bench. There was a pretty woman sitting on a stone bench there. One day, Shankaran Pillai went to a park. You fall in love, because something of who you are has to go.
